Round 1

I remember bits and pieces of the first chemo but not much. I remember certain smells and feelings that are pretty much all chemo related and can be summed up only to the situation. It is without a doubt the most horrible thing I have ever been through so I am looking forward to doing it again. Before I get into me there is something I want to discuss. For some reason there has been a little fact that has been on my mind. For anyone who reads this it is no secret that I love Jesus. I love him as much as I can possibly get out of me and I cant wait to meet him. I bring this up because I have lots of atticipation and the little fact about Jesus has to do with anticipation. I think about chemo and my stomach gets in knots, I get a little nauseated...i might get a smidge of a headache but it stomachs there. If I am dreading something at work?...same thing. I have little things that happen but nothing really major. I cannot get off my mind that before Jesus was to face the world and be crucified well....first of all he knew it was coming but what gets me is that some of you know that he sweat blood. I can't stop thinking about the fear and anguish he must have felt. I cant imagine being so afraid that your body turns on itself and works the wrong way. What torment does your body have to go through for someone to sweat blood? Wow! I have no reason to complain. That right there makes me consider whats about to happen and say bring it on. For whatever reason God has for this I welcome the strength and courage that goes with knowing my heavenly father. I already and the richest man in the world.