So it begins...again

I am about to start chemotherapy again. I never thought I would have to do it again but here I go. I dont want to do this but I do want to watch my children grow up and also I want them to see their father fight. I want them to know that I would never quit. I try for the life of me to remember exactly the way chemo made me feel last time but I can't. All I remember is this cloud of pain, confusion and chaos that my life was during that fight. I remember little bits and pieces of who I became and who I knew I would become. I became a fighter without fear. I learned a lot about myself and how much a person can go through before they know they need God. There is a line in a song by some good friends of mine that asks,"How much suffering will make you fall down?" That's a great question. It's so much better to start on your knees and only walk when God tells you to. The journey, the battle and the test is much simpler if we abide by the rules. "Let go and Let God" seems like such a simple request. Its not a request. I will be writing about this harsh journey in the coming months. I will try and record every emotion, every fear and every tear. I need people to know that its ok to hurt but most importantly its ok to lean on someone when you are hurting. Its ok to tell God "I can't do this alone!" One of the best things I have ever heard was someone saying,"I am the only bible that some people will ever read." Please feel free to read...