Round 2...in the books

I set out to try and document this whole round and try and let everyone see exactly what I was feeling but it didn't work out. After about the second day of infusion I lost the desire mainly because the effects were too bad. The chemo takes your head so far out of reality that its scary. It takes everything in me to not get sick and stay there. The worst by far of each treatment is day 3 - day 8. One day 3 I'm still in infusion and the actual side effects start to rule. I have no memory and to be honest it gets hard to tell whats real and whats a dream. There are a few memories that I have that I am still no sure if they happened or not. My length of infusion has gone from about 2 hours to about 6 hours. This is a terribly long time to be somewhere fighting throwing up and just wanting to be somewhere curled up in a ball. Everything hurts. Everything makes me mad. I remember this being bad but not this bad. I truly believe that we as humans are able to block out certain things from the past so we are not permanantly damaged by them. I hate this more than anything. People are always asking me how it makes me feel. I cant answer that. Before I had to do this I had never felt anything like this. I have 2 down and 4 to go. I will celebrate like nobody's business. I would really like to know who reads this so give me some party ideas.